Ok well first off;

I haven’t been on much due to the fact I have no internet connection at my dads. & when I do get connection I am on my other blog. so I won’t be on much. Only rarely. But I’ll try and be one more. not like anyone cares, anyways.

So. Things have gotten better. But I know everything will just fall apart again. I now live with my dad because my mom didn’t want me but apparently now she does after my dad’s already enrolled me in for school. Yeah. Thanks. It’s kind of too late now.. But I sucked it up & stayed here. I’m finishing this school year at my dads. I kind of have to, anyways. He won’t let me leave cause he thinks I should be in a new “environment”. I hope this school year goes by fast. I hate this school. A lot, actually. A lot of people call me a slut. Everything about this school is wrong. All wrong. I miss my old school. The one where I had tons and tons of friends. Everyone knew me. Everyone loved me. I just didn’t realize it til’ it was gone. I had it good. Real good. But I ruined it by moving here. My dad’s wanted me to live with him for a long time now. So I guess it’s nice seeing him happy even though he pisses me off most of the time. He’s really strict. But I know he really loves me. I just know. He’s the only guy who will ever stick around til’ death. I also have a boyfriend, Zach. He’s really really nice. Although he is a terrible kisser. I still love him. But I’ve triggered myself & my brain to not getting attached I tell myself he’s going to leave, he’s not going to stick around, he’s gonna end up breaking your heart. Just so I won’t get hurt. Kind of shitty how I have to do that just to stay happy. I don’t talk to much people at this school. They ask why I’m so quiet and all I can reply by is that no one ever cares to listen to what I have to say. I just like being alone. My best friend at this school is Courtney and Donta. Donta is gay. He’s a guy. And I love love love love him to death. Only cause he’s gay though. If he was a regular guy there’s a 13% chance I would ever talk to him. Courtney is my best friend because she literally is the nicest girl at my school. She got my through my drama & she thinks I’m beautiful no matter how I look. So I guess you could say things are okay for now except the fact the love of my life is in love with someone else… and I have to see it every day of my life.. But I just bit my tongue, y’know.